Seeing is believing: "Official News feed of Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea"
I copy their tweets dated 1.1.2019 up to this day, 20th. April 2019.
https://twitter.com/DPRK_News[*quote*]
DPRK News Service @DPRK_News
Tweets Tweets, current page. 7,565
Following Following 100
Followers Followers 336K
Likes Likes 2
Moments Moments 2
DPRK News Service @DPRK_News
Official News feed of Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea
Pyongyang, DPRK
http://mfa.gov.kp/en/Joined July 2009
1,823 Photos and videos
Tweets
Tweets Tweets, current page. Tweets & replies Media
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
29m29 minutes ago
Film Study Festival in Nampo starts with marathon of all 6 seasons of US Incest and Violence series “Game of Thrones”
4 replies 52 retweets 185 likes
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@DPRK_News
23h23 hours ago
"What is the purpose of the Netherlands?" ask many philosophers.
25 replies 121 retweets 547 likes
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@DPRK_News
23h23 hours ago
Netherlands, previously known only as home of ABBA, places second in Eurovision Song Contest after Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea.
Many question purpose of Netherlands.
42 replies 250 retweets 1,001 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 18
Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea posed to win fifteenth consecutive Eurovision Song Contest, as crowd cheers to "Our Marshal's Missile Is Mighty Indeed."
17 replies 178 retweets 497 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 18
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un denies unsportsmanlike "Drop Kick" in friendly martial arts match with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Was merely figure four leg lock.
11 replies 53 retweets 252 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 15
So called “Icons of Capitalism” in US NBA rabidly await draft in which amateurs are passed around like objects to team “owners”, with no recognition of symbolism therein.
14 replies 80 retweets 238 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 15
Nightly Sports Show in Pyongyang, in which two equally repugnant antagonists yell at each other for 90 minutes, enters 25th year to good ratings.
9 replies 38 retweets 192 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 14
DPRK News Service Retweeted KC Johnson
Juche Idea of Great Leader Kim Il-Sung captures hearts and minds of United States millennial generation, at famed William College.
DPRK News Service added,
KC Johnson
Verified account @kcjohnson9
These posters appeared around the Williams campus today. WINK is a nice touch, if treading on @DPRK_News. Doubtless the College Council will oppose these groups as well...
12 replies 49 retweets 166 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
May 12
Mothers Day is United States holiday on which children honor mothers for self-sacrifice, child-rearing, and the agony of birth with expensive greeting cards of no practical use, and chocolates stuffed with disgusting liquid cherries.
33 replies 231 retweets 947 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
May 11
Correct answer is Nickelback, which is permanently barred from performance in Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea.
33 replies 157 retweets 1,303 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 11
This is a fun game. The following is a list of musical ensembles and orchestra who have performed before Marshal Kim Jong-Un. One is false. Can you guess which?
1. The Beatles
2. Johann Sebastian Bach
3. Black Flag
4. Billie Holiday
5. Fela Kuti
6. Astor Piazolla
7. The 5-6-7-8s
42 replies 179 retweets 692 likes
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May 10
ADVERTISING: Burning Tiger Fiber Additives allows good living with incredibly violent regular bowel movements. Burning Tiger Fiber Additives.
16 replies 60 retweets 249 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 8
Birth of prince Archie Kim Jong Un George Charles Edward Windsor delights peasants of England.
29 replies 261 retweets 763 likes
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May 8
Marshal Kim Jong-Un has never lost trillions of Won on feckless real estate speculation, expensive divorces from tawdry European lingerie models, purchases of minor league football teams, airline mismanagement, or golf.
52 replies 360 retweets 1,067 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 6
Plans for US Economic Stimulus Package shelved pending further review.
7 replies 28 retweets 121 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 2
Case of Unknown Personage Bathing and Defecating in Nampo Water Reservoir referred to KPA Major Case Squad.
18 replies 20 retweets 99 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 2
Marshal Kim Jong-Un in constant contact with dear friends prince Harry and Meghan Markel of England.
@DPRK_News will provide continuous updates on royal birth and after-birth.
9 replies 53 retweets 212 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
May 2
"Sloth culture" perverts youth of North America and Europe.
31 replies 126 retweets 634 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 2
Marshal Kim Jong-Un has never sold a children's book (though he is author of many, including Byeong, The Noble Working Donkey) to government of Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea for personal profit.
8 replies 54 retweets 200 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 2
United States homeless and vagrants face increasing barriers to internet access, such as restrictions from entering schools and public libraries, and diminished access to "Twitter".
20 replies 184 retweets 617 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 2
Miller is best known outside United States as composer of "Take It Easy," "Fly Like An Eagle" and "Peaceful Easy Feeling."
11 replies 32 retweets 255 likes
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May 2
Steven Miller forced out of US central bank.
32 replies 92 retweets 487 likes
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May 2
DPRK News Service Retweeted Belarus News (Eng.)
Recognition of DPRK medical science is widespread, extending even to Belarus.
DPRK News Service added,
Belarus News (Eng.)
@BelarusMiniInfo
Democratic People's Republic of Korea celebrates the latest refinements in tonsillectomy technology.
10 replies 32 retweets 159 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 2
Farrakhan was featured prominently in "heavy metal" song "Bring the Noise," by Anthrax.
3 replies 31 retweets 132 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 2
US computer service "Twitter" bans Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan, for praise of Juche Idea of Great Leader Kim Il-Sung, and alleged anti-semitism.
But mostly for praise of Juche Idea of Great Leader Kim Il-Sung.
10 replies 60 retweets 240 likes
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May 2
This media may contain sensitive material. Your media settings are configured to warn you when media may be sensitive.
24 replies 45 retweets 195 likes
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May 2
Gruesome display of power and privilege in US congress, as representative devours fried meats and fishes before hungry workers and peasants.
107 replies 911 retweets 2,604 likes
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@DPRK_News
May 2
CELEBRITY NEWS: Ji-Tae, Lonely Raccoon of Haeju, celebrates anniversary by cavorting about with sack of discarded yams.
21 replies 66 retweets 259 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 30
Claims by Indian army to have found mythical "Yeti" or "Bigfoot" are dismissed as superstition of peasants.
Last surviving Bigfoot was shot by Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un in 2016.
54 replies 520 retweets 1,461 likes
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Apr 30
Western computer service "Insta-Gram" to borrow features from "Face-Book," such as colors, and massive and irrevocable breaches of customer privacy.
18 replies 207 retweets 676 likes
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Apr 30
Emperor of Japan abdicates, in vain attempt to placate Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un.
10 replies 79 retweets 305 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 30
World is proven to be scientifically round by Juche Science.
"Disc world" is antithetical to science.
12 replies 41 retweets 179 likes
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Apr 30
Ministry of Culture bans "disc world"
18 replies 36 retweets 207 likes
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Apr 30
International Dance Day is celebrated.
9 replies 32 retweets 108 likes
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Apr 30
Paraguay, Uruguay, and Argentina warned that interference in Venezuelan democracy will bring devastating consequences.
11 replies 46 retweets 139 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 30
Dystopian Horror movie featuring anthropomorphic cocaine addict Sonic Hedgehog expected to break records as movie-going audiences are generally idiots.
30 replies 799 retweets 2,425 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 27
"The idiot still asks me whether I'm going to let him build his tower in two years."
"What a schmuck."
"As if Moscow has a shortage of shoddily built skyscrapers designed by someone with the fashion taste of a gangster."
34 replies 345 retweets 1,231 likes
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Apr 24
My buddies and me are gettin' real well known. Yeah, the bad guys know us and they leave us alone.
28 replies 102 retweets 448 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 23
Characters of Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Howard The Duck, The Mighty Thor, and Thanos are loosely based on exploits of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un, at various phases of his life.
26 replies 237 retweets 705 likes
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Apr 23
Donald Trump promises that all insults to Queen Elizabeth of England will be merely inadvertent.
12 replies 136 retweets 564 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 23
Friendship between Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea and Vladimir Putin can never be broken.
15 replies 63 retweets 244 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 23
Donald Trump' advises Jack Dorsey that Twitter revolution is over. Condolences. The bums lost. Trump's advice is to do what Dorsey's parents did, and get a job, sir.
THE BUMS WILL ALWAYS LOSE.
20 replies 112 retweets 567 likes
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Apr 23
Donald Trump urges street derelict in cheap suit to cease drinking and get a job.
39 replies 536 retweets 1,802 likes
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Apr 20
"Easter" is barbaric western ritual fertility feast in which children are encouraged to boil the young of chickens alive, before going on to devour rabbit babies.
Adults consume the flesh of pigs.
50 replies 296 retweets 812 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 19
1000 Won could buy you half a bowl of radishes OR it could save us from American imperialism.
How will you spend yours?
61 replies 239 retweets 968 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 19
So many times, it happens too fast.
You trade your passion for glory.
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past.
You must fight just to keep them alive.
26 replies 113 retweets 416 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 18
Marshal Kim Jong-Un encourages Korean people to investigate his blameless conduct.
9 replies 148 retweets 441 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 17
Laws of thermodynamics were hypothesized and proven by Great Leader Kim Il-Sung in 1937.
11 replies 43 retweets 356 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 17
DPRK News Service Retweeted John McAfee
Twitter now extends to most primitive reaches of Amazon jungles, in which savages question question what is deemed common sense by civilized people.
DPRK News Service added,
John McAfee
Verified account @officialmcafee
Let's drop science for a moment and assume we know nothing of thermodynamics - which I find questionable in any case - and someone shows you a thermos bottle. Put hot stuff in - stays hot. Cold stuff - stays cold. First question in my mind would be: "How the fuck does it know?"
7 replies 83 retweets 378 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 16
President of Supreme Peoples Assembly Kim Yong-Nam is allowed to retire.
13 replies 13 retweets 75 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 16
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un to translate Arabian classic "Al Azif" to Korean.
18 replies 22 retweets 117 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 15
"Bran Stark," western fantasy character who watches and waits for perfect moment of vengeance on enemies of family and nation, is said to be based on Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un.
8 replies 232 retweets 628 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 15
"Triumph Of A Man Called Horse" is suitable ending to epic "A Man Called Horse" trilogy, according to @DPRK_News film critic.
5 replies 7 retweets 40 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 15
Disney+ is banned.
19 replies 68 retweets 348 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 15
Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea has no income tax.
65 replies 130 retweets 511 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 15
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un disclaims responsibility for Tiger Woods' return to Masters, having only offered Woods tips on long range game, putting, and limited physical therapy.
True champion is Tiger Woods.
11 replies 66 retweets 301 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 15
Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea offers fleet of flying water tankers to drop millions of liters of water on top of burning Paris cathedral.
People of France said to be cheered.
25 replies 90 retweets 469 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 15
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un orders all cathedrals in Pyongyang inspected for electrical wiring safety issues.
48 replies 172 retweets 685 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 12
Guests smearing fecal matter on walls of DPRK embassies are dealt with harshly.
27 replies 135 retweets 603 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 11
Retirements of elderly leaders such as Abdelaziz Bouteflika and Omar al-Bashir seen as worldwide movement, in favor of dynamic young leaders such as Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un.
20 replies 186 retweets 431 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 11
Sudan president Omar al-Bashir to retire.
12 replies 55 retweets 202 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 11
Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council!
100 replies 927 retweets 3,777 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 11
██████████ of █████ is released in redacted form.
14 replies 57 retweets 245 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 11
Famed attorney Michael Avenatti withdraws from Julian Assange defence team, citing need to spend more time with his ankle monitor.
23 replies 384 retweets 1,685 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 11
Fate of Julian Assange's cat remains shrouded in mystery.
45 replies 265 retweets 1,022 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 11
Forceful Eviction of Transient Elfin Squatter of Little Note proves somewhat difficult as Legendary Elven Strength requires multiple men to remove.
24 replies 254 retweets 678 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 10
News in brief:
Maple Syrup cartel is alleged.
United Kingdom, once home to law and order, is now domain of "speedboat killers."
Inflation is low.
7 replies 38 retweets 210 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 10
Determination that "Black Holes" emit little light is as predicted by Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il.
8 replies 90 retweets 332 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 10
Election occurs in Zionist Entity.
4 replies 32 retweets 133 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 10
Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea is nation founded upon idea of Love.
23 replies 50 retweets 192 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 10
Rocky Horror Picture Show is tale of trans-American, persecuted for spreading his bounteous love amongst peoples unwilling.
7 replies 32 retweets 139 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 10
Rocky Horror Show to be screened at Pyongyang Artists Hall on Friday midnight.
Audiences urged to be respectful. And quiet.
17 replies 90 retweets 380 likes
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Apr 10
"It is hard to fool Stalin." - Stalin.
17 replies 94 retweets 430 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 10
KCNA Fact Check Group determines that Bean Soup does not cure terminal prostate cancer, regardless of method of ingestion (as suggested by visiting Indian Guru)
2 replies 22 retweets 96 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 10
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un takes first photograph of "black hole," donates film to scientists.
26 replies 264 retweets 842 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 9
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un wins EVE Online.
17 replies 67 retweets 280 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 9
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un states that marriage must be between one man and women.
39 replies 185 retweets 567 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 9
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un has never inhaled cocaine from a prostitute's rump, while aboard a yacht.
397 replies 1,025 retweets 4,257 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 9
Democratic People Republic of Korea has no withholding taxes.
15 replies 52 retweets 228 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 8
College of Virginia wins US basketball championship, as predicted by Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un.
14 replies 108 retweets 421 likes
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Apr 8
"Electronic cigarettes" banned in favor of healthy and natural organic tobacco.
19 replies 295 retweets 960 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 8
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un rarely needs to call upon Solomon. Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles, or Mercury, but does enjoy their society at social gatherings.
9 replies 50 retweets 275 likes
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Apr 8
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un is real life inspiration for Shazam!
6 replies 66 retweets 342 likes
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Apr 8
Marshal Kim Jong-Un predicts winner of US college basketball tournament, with high precision.
26 replies 118 retweets 547 likes
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Apr 6
ADVERTISING: Burning Tiger Wart Remover is best at removing large warts around the elderly’s sensitive genital areas. Burning Tiger Wart Remover.
33 replies 65 retweets 318 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 5
"Keto diet" allows Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un to carry slim, muscular figure whist consuming wholesome foods such as deep fried Mars bars, roasted beef, French cheeses, and cognac.
26 replies 231 retweets 931 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 5
Worst American country music band is The Eagles.
41 replies 87 retweets 511 likes
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Apr 5
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un announces that "Old Time Road" is genuine country music song, with or without Billy Ray Cypress.
14 replies 166 retweets 695 likes
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Apr 5
Jacob Rees-Mogg disagrees with "some" German Neo-Nazi party policies.
6 replies 76 retweets 195 likes
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Apr 5
England scheduled to gain full independence as former colony of Belgium, France, and Germany within one week, barring intervention by English people.
12 replies 211 retweets 464 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 5
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un gives Republic of Mexico one year deadline to increase trade in burritos and tamales, before introducing tariff on Mexican automobiles and closing ports of entry.
17 replies 97 retweets 302 likes
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Apr 5
Marshal Kim Jong-Un believes that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.
11 replies 52 retweets 307 likes
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Apr 5
Marshal Kim Jong-Un ceased driving white van marked "Free Candy!" to Pyongyang schools, after learning of abuses perpetrated in western nations.
5 replies 84 retweets 424 likes
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Apr 5
Marshal Kim Jong-Un enjoys the company of children, but only within reason and under supervision of parents or teachers.
22 replies 153 retweets 684 likes
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Apr 4
Chagang Times, popular lifestyle newsletter for 50 years, to change format to Lists of Animals that Look Like Other Things
6 replies 18 retweets 136 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 1
Recent loss by Duke basketball team blamed on inadequate support from university.
2 replies 35 retweets 211 likes
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Apr 1
Duke basketball team includes functioning university as support staff.
3 replies 67 retweets 324 likes
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Apr 1
April 1 is western holiday on which press and media networks attempt to approach @DPRK_News in factual accuracy of reporting.
12 replies 142 retweets 550 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 1
Weather in North Hwanghae province expected to be cool and rainy, ideal for growth of early turnip crop.
5 replies 23 retweets 128 likes
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@DPRK_News
Apr 1
Author Nicholas A. Christakis is described as malignant boil festering on the rump of humanity, endlessly spraying diseased pus into the minds of children. All travel privileges of Nicholas A. Christakis to Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea are REVOKED.
11 replies 31 retweets 154 likes
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Apr 1
Ministry of Education purchases one hundred copies of "Blueprint: The Evolutionary Origins of a Good Society," in order that disgusting books may be burned by schoolchildren, in ceremonies of high ideological significance.
6 replies 22 retweets 102 likes
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Apr 1
Kim Il-Sung Thought scientifically proves that state of human happiness is reached by rigid adherence to Juche. "Blueprint: The Evolutionary Origins of a Good Society," teaches that human goodness and altruism are "natural" in origin.
Absolute rubbish.
2 replies 9 retweets 61 likes
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Apr 1
New book, "Blueprint: The Evolutionary Origins of a Good Society," by author Nicholas A. Christakis, is blasted as dangerous and demented propaganda, teaching slanderous lies in contraction of Juche Idea of Great Leader Kim Il-Sung.
5 replies 25 retweets 112 likes
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Mar 30
Marshal Kim Jong-Un keeps Pacific and Indian oceans free from scourge of piracy.
Atlantic ocean is left to others.
32 replies 131 retweets 370 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 30
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un does not sniff young ladies and girls who appear before him.
He merely appreciates freshness of their hair.
108 replies 412 retweets 1,612 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 29
IS SUPREME LEADER KIM JONG-UN THE FIRST SPECIMEN OF A NEW HUMAN SPECIES, REFERRED TO BY LEADING BIOLOGISTS AS "PRIMO JUCHEICUS"?
38 replies 74 retweets 375 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 27
Music Study at Kim Il Sung University determines Silence to be foundation of creativity. The second foundation is Aggressive Bass Riffs.
14 replies 124 retweets 443 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 26
New television service by Apple promises few programs, outdated hardware, frequent interruptions, limited availability, and high price.
Stock soars on news.
17 replies 126 retweets 311 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 26
Charges against dear friend of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un Jussie Smollett dropped, after revelation actor was actually at Leader's home, performing vital work in arranging second Donald Trump summit.
Misunderstanding could not be revealed until today, for reasons of secrecy.
18 replies 92 retweets 275 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 25
Maybe now they'll love me.
19 replies 68 retweets 250 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 25
Turkish historian finds compelling evidence that Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un is descended from Achilles.
30 replies 121 retweets 505 likes
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Mar 25
Ministry of Agriculture urges collective farms to improve data security.
6 replies 21 retweets 126 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 25
Scotland to seek Brexit from England.
26 replies 76 retweets 319 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 25
DPRK Games to launch in 2019, providing internet game addicts and similar deviants with such products as TRON, Ever-Quest, and Revolutionary Heroes Of Juche Battling Japanese Warlords To Save Mother Korea From Fascism.
19 replies 62 retweets 298 likes
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Mar 25
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un now rates Michael Avenatti chance to become next US president at no more than 1 in 5, slightly behind Kamala Harris and slightly ahead of Joseph Biden.
20 replies 283 retweets 877 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 23
Closure of Mueller investigation leaves US press upset that they will have to vote against Donald Trump in 2020.
DPRK press always votes in favor of Marshal Kim Jong-Un.
22 replies 99 retweets 417 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 23
Children’s Concert in Pyongyang featuring R Kelly and Friends has been canceled.
23 replies 182 retweets 748 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 23
Great Leader Kim Il-Sung tote bags available in limited quantities, due to unforeseen circumstances.
No shortage of Che Guevara t-shirts.
20 replies 89 retweets 439 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 23
With breaking news, it's accuracy that matters. You turn to @DPRK_News for objective reporting. And your pledges mean so much. Won't you pledge 50.000 Won a month?
Your pledge can get you a Che Guevara t-shirt, a Joseph Stalin coffee mug, or a Great Leader Kim Il-Sung tote bag.
71 replies 140 retweets 648 likes
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Mar 22
Scrappy underdogs Virginia and Kentucky pose challenge to traditional power-houses Gardner-Webb and Wofford, in annual U.S. basketball tournament.
8 replies 46 retweets 203 likes
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Mar 22
Ministry of Technology bans Loot Boxes.
13 replies 62 retweets 288 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 22
Marshal Kim Jong-Un receives advanced, leaked copy of "Mueller Report."
And is said to be deeply troubled by what he reads.
But cannot reveal it, at this time.
Soon.
Readers advised to stay alert to @DPRK_News for breaking developments.
24 replies 211 retweets 776 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 22
DPRK News Service Retweeted John Bolton
Pwned.
DPRK News Service added,
John Bolton
Verified account @AmbJohnBolton
Important actions today from @USTreasury; the maritime industry must do more to stop North Korea’s illicit shipping practices. Everyone should take notice and review their own activities to ensure they are not involved in North Korea’s sanctions evasion.
https://twitter.com/USTreasury/status/1108791203036844037 …
10 replies 155 retweets 576 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 22
English "Brexit" from Europe on course to outlast Hundred Years War of English withdrawal from France.
8 replies 131 retweets 281 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 22
Leading fashion designers say black is hot colour for Spring menswear.
33 replies 146 retweets 482 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 22
Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il spoken of by western press as member of "mile high club."
Believed to be society of daring pilots to have flown one mile above surface of Earth.
22 replies 42 retweets 193 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 22
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un has no cow.
Cow is owned by all Korean people.
31 replies 178 retweets 826 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 22
DPRK News Service Retweeted Donald J. Trump
Gift of one stick of butter from Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un to Donald Trump serves its purpose.
DPRK News Service added,
Donald J. Trump
Verified account @realDonaldTrump
It was announced today by the U.S. Treasury that additional large scale Sanctions would be added to those already existing Sanctions on North Korea. I have today ordered the withdrawal of those additional Sanctions!
38 replies 482 retweets 1,565 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 21
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un announces that U.S. province of Rhode Island will be destroyed last.
85 replies 342 retweets 1,026 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 21
Republic of France observes #macaronday in subdued fashion.
6 replies 21 retweets 76 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 21
Other recipients of Order of Rising Sun include Herman Goring, Nancy Pelosi, and Sepp Blatter.
6 replies 18 retweets 94 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 21
Behind every good woman, there is a man.
9 replies 24 retweets 110 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 21
Vancouver Fashion Week signals return to dignified womens wear and ladies fashion, after excesses of New York and Paris fashion weeks.
7 replies 33 retweets 96 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 21
Dennis Hastert (right) is recipient of Order of the Rising Sun, First Class, Grand Cordon, awarded personally by emperor of Japan himself.
Hastert is also convicted molester of young boys.
18 replies 48 retweets 170 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 19
'Cause Calvin Klein is no friend of mine.
Don't want nobody's name on my Be-Hind!
Lee on my legs, Adidas on my feet.
D by my side, and Jay with the beat.
3 replies 24 retweets 112 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 19
Nursultan Nazarbayev was great friend and mentor to Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il, frequently enjoying bouts of chess, martial arts, and swordsmanship in Leader's dojang.
2 replies 18 retweets 92 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 19
Resignation of Kazakhstan president Nursultan Nazarbayev leaves fashion models of Paris, London, and Milan in anguish.
6 replies 55 retweets 199 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 19
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un consumes "dough-nuts" from every nation in Africa, Asia, Europe, North America, and South America, in matter of scientific urgency.
Dough-nuts from Australia not consumed, due to savagery of its barbaric inhabitants.
10 replies 104 retweets 324 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 17
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un evolves his pichu.
17 replies 84 retweets 390 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 17
Rising up, back on the street.
Did my time, took my chances.
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet.
Just a man and his will to survive.
17 replies 165 retweets 626 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 17
New York senator Kristin Gillibrand enters US democrat party race for president, running on platform of not being Hillary Clinton.
27 replies 94 retweets 365 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 17
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un honors people of Ireland by winning fried potato eating contest at Irish embassy, consuming sixty potatoes fried in butter.
Irish diplomats said to be impressed.
24 replies 193 retweets 673 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 17
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un cleared in slaying of "Gambino Family" boss Frank Cali.
Leader has killed many mafia and yakuza family heads, but only in matters of business or personal honor.
12 replies 66 retweets 253 likes
DPRK News Service Retweeted
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Saint Patricks Day is worldwide celebration of public drunkenness, religious wars, boiled cabbage, limericks, and similar aspects of Irish high culture.
39 replies 327 retweets 940 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un has honorary doctorate degree from Duke University, supplementing actual degrees in law, medicine, and naval architecture from Kim Il-Sung University.
11 replies 39 retweets 221 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Zion Williams could earn degree from prestigious Duke University philosophy department, were he to continue his academic studies in such matters.
5 replies 24 retweets 150 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un expects Zion Williams to declare draft eligibility as freshman, wasting his collegiate scholarship at prestigious Duke University.
7 replies 55 retweets 286 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un embarks on fantastic voyage through worlds of science and adventure.
20 replies 19 retweets 139 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Why does my heart ... feel so bad?
Why does my soul ... feel so bad?
7 replies 19 retweets 140 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 16
It's the bow to the wow, yiggy yes yallin, Beto O'Rourke in the ... house like every day, dropping [ideological commentary] with my [friend] Mister Doctor Dre,
8 replies 63 retweets 307 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Dubuque Iowa known for its energizing house parties.
11 replies 47 retweets 257 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un is not to be egged.
153 replies 416 retweets 1,463 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 16
DPRK News Service Retweeted Jack Posobiec
🇺🇸
United States elections marred by rampant vote fraud.
Citizens of Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea vote for Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un only once.
DPRK News Service added,
Jack Posobiec
🇺🇸
Verified account @JackPosobiec
Every Time Democrats Talk, I Want To Vote For Trump Twice
http://thefederalist.com/2019/03/13/every-time-democrats-talk-want-vote-trump-twice/ …
15 replies 96 retweets 370 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Wheel In The Sky Keeps On Turning.
9 replies 52 retweets 286 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Sailors are vital to fish harvest and similar economic concerns.
8 replies 28 retweets 360 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Ministry of Culture bans erotic jokes concerning sailors.
31 replies 73 retweets 485 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 16
"White supremacy" movement has no future in Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea.
26 replies 164 retweets 584 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 16
STORM! EARTH! AND FIRE!
HEED MY CALL!
41 replies 145 retweets 543 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Hercules, the Noble Donkey of Nampo, defeats Japanese spies yet again.
13 replies 28 retweets 138 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Suitcase containing nineteen severed human arms, discovered in Wonsan, is ruled not to be criminal in origin.
Citizens are reassured.
25 replies 76 retweets 385 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Marshal also reveals that Söze's attorney was not actually named "Mister Kobayashi."
3 replies 16 retweets 137 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Revelation by Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un that Keyser Söze was actually "Verbal" Kint and not Dean Keaton, sparks critical reappraisal of previously obscure western crime thriller "Usual Suspects."
8 replies 45 retweets 212 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 16
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un announces that final digit of Π is 7.
42 replies 444 retweets 1,675 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 15
Return of James Gunn to Guardians of Galaxy is attributed to fierce moral pressure by Marshal Kim Jong-Un.
9 replies 86 retweets 396 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 15
"Pokemon" is crude and savage religion in which thousands of beasts are sacrificed to extend adolescence of aging Japanese teenagers.
10 replies 234 retweets 819 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 15
TEQUILA!
17 replies 129 retweets 456 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 15
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un has no need of criminal motorcycle gangs to enforce order in Korea.
44 replies 487 retweets 1,972 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 15
"Queensland" is bandit haven in savage land of Australia, dominated by barbarian warlords and shunned by civilized peoples of all nations.
21 replies 92 retweets 310 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 15
Many subjects are ruled unfit for humor.
3 replies 31 retweets 169 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 15
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un walks his path alone, ignoring blandishments of western "liberal" media.
55 replies 122 retweets 656 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 14
Ministry of Health bars immigration from US province of California, citing danger of measles, polio, and similar diseases prevented by vaccines in civilized nations.
10 replies 256 retweets 720 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 14
The 600 series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy. But these are new. They look human... sweat, bad breath, everything.
73 replies 670 retweets 2,133 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 14
In Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea, profession of "clown" has been abolished, as degrading to workers and frightening to children.
7 replies 71 retweets 488 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 14
Effort by nameless clown to bring joy into hearts of stone-faced Americans fails miserably.
22 replies 298 retweets 1,070 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 14
Michael Avenatti status as US democratic front-runner may be weaker than first appears, according to leading experts on United States culture and politics.
35 replies 177 retweets 982 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 14
Ministry of Culture bans “Cinnamon” flavored confections
22 replies 20 retweets 171 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 14
Korean Peoples Assembly has never denied authority of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un to build border walls, razor wire fences, machine gun nests, mine fields, or pits filled with sharp stakes.
12 replies 82 retweets 279 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 14
Collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Then I flow that a harpoon daily and nightly...
Ice. Ice. Baby.
14 replies 92 retweets 268 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 13
Decline in gypsum mining yields is ascribed to treachery by eunuchs.
22 replies 66 retweets 316 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 12
Children’s book “There’s a Beautiful Monster in My Bathroom, Oh It Is Just the Watchful Eyes of Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un” expected to be adapted for television.
16 replies 117 retweets 547 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 9
Voluntary blackout in oil-rich Veneziela shows commitment of Maduro to fighting climate change.
45 replies 926 retweets 2,784 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 9
Basketball team of Duke loses.
18 replies 60 retweets 266 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 9
Donkeys in Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea are largely optimistic.
9 replies 84 retweets 452 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 9
FURTHER UPDATE: "Michael Jordan" is basketball player who assisted Dennis Rodman on championship basketball teams, and is not "Michael Jackson."
Eeyore is not captain. Eeyore is pessimistic donkey.
We regret the errors.
7 replies 122 retweets 606 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 9
How does it feel
To treat me like you do?
When you've laid your hands upon me
And told me who you are?
I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me how do I feel?
Tell me how do I feel?
25 replies 101 retweets 348 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 9
Popular western film "Captain Marvel" is based on real life exploits of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un, thinly disguised as caucasian woman.
61 replies 1,020 retweets 3,037 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 8
Kim Il Sung University Foreign Language Department determines “puns” as lowest form of English-speaking humour.
44 replies 118 retweets 581 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 8
Efforts by US corporation Face Book to create convincing synthetic human are deemed disappointing.
36 replies 503 retweets 1,467 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 8
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un celebrates International Womens Day, accompanied by ladies specially chosen for their feminine virtue and power.
59 replies 316 retweets 820 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 8
Marshal Kim Jong-Un lives entirely blameless life.
61 replies 290 retweets 1,281 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 5
Marshal Kim Jong-Un maintains tenuous alliance with Gojira / Godzilla, for fear that clash would destroy most of eastern Asia.
14 replies 57 retweets 254 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 5
DPRK News Service Retweeted NSA/CSS
US national security agency names newest "nerd" recruitment conference after Ghidra, three-headed Japanese monster of whom none of its "nerd" recruits have ever heard.
Marshal Kim Jong-Un has defeated Ghidra on numerous occasions.
DPRK News Service added,
NSA/CSS
Verified account @NSAGov
Follow the dragon! The #RSAC #Ghidra talk has moved! Now at Moscone West 3001, 3:40-4:40. Also streaming live in West 2000! Downloads go live after the talk.
3 replies 48 retweets 185 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 5
Decision by New York mayor Michael Bloomberg not to run for US president shocks dozen of supporters.
16 replies 104 retweets 440 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 5
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un has no corporate donors.
16 replies 128 retweets 561 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 5
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un has never demoted his Minister of Justice to Minister of Veterans Affairs in a misguided attempt to cover up bribery by a major corporate donor to the family of Muammar Qadaffi of Libya.
29 replies 499 retweets 1,237 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 5
Howls of purported agony from English translation department at Ministry of Information are merely motivational exercise.
5 replies 32 retweets 168 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 5
Major European powers Poland and Ireland said to oppose English independence, sparking fears of war with hegemonic European power Belgium.
7 replies 93 retweets 453 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 5
Belgian colony of England scheduled to obtain full independence as free and independent nation, on March 29.
16 replies 268 retweets 908 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 4
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un to publish revised edition of Romance of Three Kingdoms, correcting moral errors of Liu Bei and strategic errors of Zhuge Liang.
12 replies 64 retweets 268 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 2
Desertions in Venezuelan army ascribed to lack of external threats, as citizens of neighboring countries such as Brazil and United States seek to emigrate to Venezuela in droves.
12 replies 59 retweets 259 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 2
Regrets. I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention.
But I did, what I had to do
I'll see it through with no devotion
Of that, take care and just
Be careful along the highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way...
15 replies 115 retweets 406 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 2
Many "liberal pundits" said to attend United States CPAC, for purposes of jokes and weak, tepid irony.
@DPRK_News will attend in spirit of blazing confrontation, exterminating all opposition in the cleansing ideological fire of Juche.
8 replies 58 retweets 294 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 2
.@DPRK_News sending special correspondent to CPAC in 2020, to observe and assess appropriate quarantine measures for lunatics.
9 replies 98 retweets 369 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 2
Jonas brothers credit reunion to fatherly intervention, and "tough love," from Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un.
7 replies 167 retweets 446 likes
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@DPRK_News
Mar 2
BLOOD PURGE at English translation department of Ministry of Information, for manifest errors in ideology and typography.
6 replies 21 retweets 118 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 1
I've paid my dues, time after time.
I've done my sentence, but committed no crime.
And bad mistakes, I've made a few.
I've had my share of sand, kicked in my face,
But I've come through!
29 replies 148 retweets 596 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 1
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un refuses to intervene in dispute between dear friends Khloe Kardashian and Jordyn Woods, stating is matter for Kayne West to handle, as the man of the family and head of household.
15 replies 184 retweets 546 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 1
Washington DC mayor Jay Inslee to bring legendary charm and charisma to US democrat party elections for president.
15 replies 30 retweets 171 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 1
Marshal Kim Jong-Un has never been indicted by his own attorney general less than six weeks before an election.
15 replies 125 retweets 696 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 1
Pakistan returns captured pilot to India, thanks to mediation by Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un.
228 replies 1,016 retweets 2,699 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 1
DPRK News Service Retweeted Molly Jong-Fast
Michael Pence is correct. Socialism is achieved solely through adherence to Juche Idea of Great Leader Kim Il-Sung. Workers of Party of Korea is means by which Juche is brought to the people. Marshal Kim Jong-Un is paramount leader of Workers Party.
Only Korea can be socialist.
DPRK News Service added,
Molly Jong-Fast
Verified account @MollyJongFast
The crowd is excited when pence says America will never be a socialist country
Show this thread
21 replies 95 retweets 382 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 1
CPAC is annual United States civil defense drill, in which maximum number of lunatics and similar undesirables are concentrated in one location for orderly roundup and disposal.
91 replies 823 retweets 2,964 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 1
Unrestricted internet access said to pose greatest threat to mental hygiene in west.
Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea restricts such threats, assuring healthy and wholesome mental life for Korean people.
11 replies 84 retweets 293 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Mar 1
Ministry of Culture bans public kisses lasting longer than 4 minutes
31 replies 83 retweets 326 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 28
Latest threats by US senator Lindsey Graham are compared to the simpering of a foppish catamite.
29 replies 144 retweets 508 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 28
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un not surprised by swinish behavior of Donald Trump.
Not surprised at all.
15 replies 134 retweets 496 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 27
Donald Trump promises to bring renowned and well-painted army of Orks on second day.
Our Marshal will be ready.
23 replies 146 retweets 717 likes
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@DPRK_News
Feb 27
First day of summit closes with friendly game in which Marshal Kim Jong-Un effortlessly defeats Donald Trump's army of Tyranids, using only Sisters of Battle.
23 replies 180 retweets 859 likes
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@DPRK_News
Feb 27
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un would gladly surrender his powers, were he to lose an election.
32 replies 166 retweets 711 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 27
French president Emmanuel Macron vows to listen to his people.
11 replies 46 retweets 233 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 27
.@DPRK_News Karachi correspondent reports from Pakistan, on border conflict with India:
"This is fine."
11 replies 81 retweets 307 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 27
Marshal Kim Jong-Un has never had business dealings with Felix Sater.
12 replies 131 retweets 477 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 27
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un is possessor of powerful and masculine hands.
44 replies 249 retweets 777 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 27
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un has no need for a "personal attorney."
15 replies 186 retweets 645 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 27
Everybody gets what they want
12 replies 47 retweets 143 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 27
"That guy from the Los Angeles Times we just kicked out was telling me the new ones are named Grookey, Scorbunny, and Sobble."
"Grookey? Really?"
"Grookey. I can't believe it either."
4 replies 56 retweets 216 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 27
As Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea and United States meet for world peace, Pakistan and India escalate preparations for massive nuclear war.
Irony appreciated by many.
34 replies 500 retweets 1,303 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 26
"So wait, you're telling me that Socrates was largely a literary invention of Plato, and that Plato may not have been representing the arguments of sophists in good faith?"
"Yes. It is true."
171 replies 1,812 retweets 5,970 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 26
Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea unveils 1G wireless technology, eclipsing 5G technology of China and 4G technology of Europe and United States.
32 replies 133 retweets 494 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 26
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un unlikely to raise human rights concerns regarding U.S. prisons, income inequality, and racism in Donald Trump summit, deeming U.S. human rights to be distraction from goal of peace.
21 replies 256 retweets 650 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 26
Vietnamese president Nguyễn Phú Trọng thanks Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un for gift of Red Banner Cigarettes, praising their rich flavour and mellow aroma.
10 replies 54 retweets 285 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 26
Jefferson Davis Hogg follows trend of republican cattle barons entering US politics, including Alabama province senator Roy Moore and sheriff David Clarke.
9 replies 80 retweets 325 likes
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@DPRK_News
Feb 26
Hazzard county commissioner Jefferson Davis Hogg is nominated for United States congress from North Carolina province, vowing harsh justice against illegal moonshiners and traffic scofflaws.
22 replies 216 retweets 758 likes
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@DPRK_News
Feb 26
United States teen idol Jacob Wohl goes mysteriously silent, leading to fears he has been abducted and dismembered for speaking Truth to Power.
259 replies 503 retweets 2,098 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 26
Vermin are detected at Vietnam hotel reserved for Marshal Kim Jong-Un.
Problem is swiftly remedied.
16 replies 75 retweets 308 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 26
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un is forced to emphasize, once again, that he is not in the market for a luxury condominium of any sort.
77 replies 1,590 retweets 4,450 likes
DPRK News Service
@DPRK_News
Feb 25
Author
Topic: Official News feed of Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea (Read 393 times)